In Pursuit -

“She wanted to study Art in college, but I told her ‘No,’” she says bending over my nails, filing them to a perfect shape. “Art, music, painting, stuff like that is just a hobby. Not a career. Everybody wants to do art or music or be a writer, write a book, but that’s just a hobby,” she repeats, “Not a job.”

I look around the nail salon; her daughter’s prize winning art work hangs on the walls; it certainly looks to me like she has talent to turn her talent into a career.  “She’s studying something in the medical field,” she continues, “Much better.”

I watch her expertly swipe the polish, her fingers steady, and imagine this life – a life of bent back, aching hands, strained eyes, customers to keep satisfied.  I sympathize, understanding that this life – this work – is not what she wants for her daughter.  Isn't this what all parents want for their kids? A better life? To be successful and stable and independent? 

“Is she happy though?” I work up the nerve to question this mother’s choices for her daughter. “Does she like what she’s studying?”

I imagine her daughter mourning the loss of a talent wasted, all for the sake of the Almighty Dollar. I think, “Are we too focused on money, careers, success, rather than doing what we love?"  I remember the student who told me he would probably study law, because “that’s what my mom wants.” I think of the students who stress, vainly trying to please their parents with grades, course selections, college decisions, and apparently even career choices.

“Oh YES,” she’s finished with my polish, and interrupts my train of thought, “She loves it. She is really happy.”  And my thinking shifts: “So, is this what parenting is: steering your child in new directions, forcing them to try new things that are outside their comfort zone? To see the potential and abilities they might not see or know they have?”

I think of my parents, who encouraged their children to “study what they love.” My parents who had four daughters (myself included) to graduate from college – four daughters who studied what they enjoyed – and graduated with majors that had no practical value.  In all seriousness, what can one really DO with an English Literature (or psychology, or communications, or music) major?  I had to go BACK to school to get a job: even for my “fall back” plan (teaching) no one would hire me without a certification.  My degree by itself was worthless in the job market.  (Don't believe me? Check out this list of 10 Worst College Majors)

My thoughts after graduating from college

I’m not a big believer in “do what you love and the jobs will come to you,” And yet, I was, and am, so thankful for parents who encouraged learning for the sake of learning – and who allowed me to pursue what I enjoyed learning about in college. Isn’t that the point of higher education? To learn? Or is the purpose of college “to get a job?” A college education isn’t necessary for a quality life – I know many successful people who never attended college. We've all heard the Steve Jobs story, but he's not the only successful college dropout: A list of highly successful college dropouts  These people pursued their passions - and made millions as a result. And yet, the likelihood of that happening is very slim. 

I think of my own daughter – thankfully, still several years away from having to make the difficult “what am I going to do with my life?” choices, and I wonder what advice I will give her.  There’s got to be a balance between studying and pursuing those passions, “do what you love,” and success, stability, a career path, isn’t there?