There was a time when I was known as the “Tough Teacher.” Students FEARED me. They quieted down when I walked the halls. They entered the class silently. They got right to work with no messing around. I was all powerful. I was INTIMIDATING.
…. It lasted all of about 2 whole weeks. Then one of my students did something funny (I forget what it was now), I cracked up laughing …. AAAANNNNDD … that was the end of my intimidation factor. I was so worried that the students weren’t going to listen to me if I wasn’t “mean,” I wasn’t enjoying my job. Every morning was stress-filled anticipating potential discipline problems. Once I relaxed, I realized, it was a whole lot more fun for me to enjoy my students rather than try to scare them into behaving. I was having fun, the kids were learning, and I actually didn’t have the discipline issues that I had feared.
A few years ago I had a freshman stop in to tell me how much she wanted to be in my class her senior year. I was so flattered! Wondering her reason (and what she had heard about my fabulous teaching activities) – she told me “I hear it’s just movies and parties! The kids tell me they never do any work!” I was furious. WHAT!! THIS is my reputation? “The Party Teacher”? I was so angry; I made the next class period write an essay that I threw away in the trash after they turned them in (NOT my best teaching moment.) Every year my students seem flabbergasted they actually have to WORK in my class. They’ve been duped, they claim. “You’ve gotten stricter” they say. “This isn’t what they did last year” “You HATE us!” they whine. None of it is true.
I want to be the “tough teacher.” I do. I think. I want to be the teacher the kids fear. I want to be the one who wins “strictest teacher award” – but despite my efforts, I can’t turn the tide in my favor. Maybe it’s because I find being a stickler, being “mean,” exhausting. Those 2 weeks of ruling the school through fear and intimidation were the most tiring of my life. “Don’t crack a smile for at least the first semester,” I had been told. I tried to follow that advice. I really did. But the fact of the matter is … I enjoy my students. I think they are funny. I enjoy teaching a whole lot more when I’m not trying to be someone I’m not. Plus, it’s only just recently been that the kids have caught on that our “parties” are more like “eating while we work.” (If I call it a “party,” and let them eat a cookie while writing the timed essay I just gave them, they are less likely to complain. Free Teacher tip.)
The truth of the matter is: I want my students to be challenged. I want them to learn. But I want them to enjoy my class too. I want them to look forward to going to my class. I want them to want to learn! If that means we eat a few chocolate chip cookies every now and then in exchange for efforts being made, then I guess I’m ok. with that – especially if there’s a cookie left for me!
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