Tips: On Talking To The Teacher

Parent Conferences should be what you do when you’ve tried everything else – and by “everything else” I mean: call the teacher, email the teacher, contact the counselor, have your student talk to the teacher, write a note, send a carrier pigeon ….  There is not a teacher alive who looks forward to or enjoys the parent teacher conference.

 For one, they take up our time. Time is a precious commodity to a teacher – we don’t have enough of it as it is, and the last thing we want to do on our prep period is sit and listen to you ask questions that could have been asked and answered in an email, or a 5 min. phone call. Keep in mind when you are in a parent conference that this is most likely the LAST PLACE ON EARTH the teacher wants to be at that moment in time.

So, keep it short. Again, the parent conference is the LAST PLACE ON EARTH the teacher wants to be – she likely has stacks and stacks of papers to grade and planning to do – which cannot be accomplished while she is in the conference with you. Rambling on and on about how little Johnny won a contest in your subject area when he was in the 5^th grade (and how his 2^nd grade teacher predicted he would be President one day) really has no bearing on Johnny’s current grade in the class – stay focused on the issue at hand.

Be polite.  The teacher is not a person you want as an enemy. You do your student no favors when you are rude to her teacher.  Remember that this person hold your student’s grade literally in the palm of his hands. He may not be your favorite person in the world, you don't have to send him a Christmas card, but it would behoove you to be polite when talking to him, when asking about his teaching strategies or when questioning a grade.  

Ask questions rather than commanding or demanding things. Questions such as “Is there anything we can do to fix this grade?” are likely to work a whole lot better in your favor than “You need to change this grade.”  You may get the same answer (“No”)  – but the question technique will leave the teacher more willing to work with you than against you.  

Finally, don’t wait until  last week, last part of the grading period, the day before graduation, or once the grades have already been issued to talk to the teacher to fix whatever issue your student may be having. 

Chances are great that the longer you wait, the less the teacher can (or is willing to) do.  The same goes for problems your student may be having in the class with other students, the teacher’s personality or a specific grading issue. Once the grades have been issued, it's almost certain that a teacher will not go back and change the grade.