Friday, October 11, 2013

"My Son Is A Genius" ... or ... "The Top 3 Craziest Things Parents Have Said To Me"

#1.  “My son is a genius”
“You don’t understand; my son is a genius” the mother lecturing me said. “No, really,” She continued, “He’s probably smarter than you. We had him tested in the 4th grade. He tested at the genius level.”   Little Einstein had gotten caught cheating on a paper. And mom was angry, spitting fire, that he had gotten caught. By me:  a teacher who obviously wasn’t smart enough to recognize a Genius when he sat in the front row of my class!  She was determined to correct the error in my judgment – her Genius of a boy didn’t know he had to cite sources for the research paper because I had never told him to do so.  Of course! How could I have been so dumb to forget a key piece of information – kids, you can’t just buy/copy a paper off of the Internet and turn it in as your own.   Any genius knows that.  Or … maybe not.

Sadly, this was NOT the only instance I’ve seen of what I call the MCIAG or “My Child Is A Genius” Syndrome.

Many parents do not want to hear that their precious baby might not have the intellectual capabilities that they thought they did: “But she’s won AWARDS in writing” or “He’s ALWAYS gotten straight A’s in English” are insinuating accusations that the ONLY reason their child ISN’T doing well THIS time, in THIS class, is because of the you - the teacher.  Don’t you DARE be the expert and try to tell them that your child isn’t really ready for the rigor and challenge of the AP course you teach. What do you know? You’re only the teacher!! We’re dealing with GENIUS people!!!! And then … when the kid is struggling to make a “C” in the class … well, it must be the teacher’s fault.   The teacher must be doing something wrong – WHY??? Because ....“My Child Is A Genius”!!!!

#2.  “You are NOT going to ruin my son’s acceptance to Duke”
He didn’t realize that turning in the same exact paper as his friend was considered “cheating.” – Another doozy of an excuse a mother (why is it always mothers coming to the defense of their children?) gave me when her son and his best friend got caught turning in the same exact paper.  In the parent teacher conference, she said (quite condescendingly to me) “You are NOT going to ruin my son’s acceptance to Duke.”  This grade, which would have made the difference between a “B” and a “C” for the semester, was absolutely NOT going to be the deciding factor in his life. He absolutely WAS going to go to Duke to become a Doctor and there would be Hell to pay if a little cheating got in the way of that!! 

They didn’t know that it wasn’t a “group” assignment.  How dare I expect a high school senior to do his work, on his own, without being explicitly TOLD to do so?  How dare I assume that he has the intelligence to know that after 7 months of being required to his own assignments in my class, that he wouldn’t need a specific guideline as to how NOT to cheat on THIS particular one?  Again, my fault.

Now I didn’t go to Duke, or any Ivy League school right out of high school, and, some of my students probably did score higher than me on the SAT – but I was still smart enough to know that  you do your own work.  Period. 

#3.  “You changed So-And-So’s grade because the Coach came into your classroom and FLIRTED with you”
Yes. Yes. Yes people. These are all true stories.  This was an accusation an angry, angry, angry, ANNNNGRRRRY mother hurled at me in a phone call I answered in the middle of one of my class periods.  I had no idea how to respond to her (and to be honest, I wasn’t given much of a chance before she cursed at me and hung up the phone. I really don’t know that I said much other than “Hello” and “What?!”) Mind you, I was in the middle of teaching a class and had 30+ students listening to my side of the conversation.  I had NO IDEA what she was talking about THEN, and I have NO IDEA what she was talking about NOW!   She was upset (obviously) because she thought her precious child’s grade should have been changed to be higher one, and, in an earlier meeting, I had refused to do so. My principles are that I don’t “give” grades, students earn them.  He hadn’t earned a higher grade. I wasn’t going to give him something he hadn’t earned.

I CAN say that in my 13 years of teaching, I have NEVER had a coach ask me to change a student’s grade, with, or without, flirting. I have actually never had a coach ASK about a student’s grade other than questioning if the athlete turned in the assignment he needed to.  Behavior? Yes. Absolutely.  Coaches have asked how a student has been behaving, but not grades. I’m sure it happens in some schools, but not in mine, or at least, not to me.

It was a weird and strange accusation and to this day I am puzzled and bewildered by it; and flabbergasted that somewhere out there in the universe, someone honestly and truly probably believes this to be true. 

It goes without saying that NOT ALL my students’ parents are crazies.  I truly don’t think that I would have as great of students as I do if their parents were mentally unbalanced.  Obviously my students are a product of their home environment to a certain extent, and by and large, the parents that I’ve had have been supportive, encouraging, and pretty respectful of me as a person and the position of authority I hold, and their kids are the same.  

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